Most evangelical "Christians" dream about a heavenly biblical marriage. With-holding sex from them-selves and their partners, they want to "save" "it" for that "special" person. Sure is odd that they can do everything, including anal, but oh no...not the vagina. For this discussion see my post Dirty Girl Purity Cults Exposed
But it relates here as we think about what a truly "biblical" marriage is. Let's first separate the "biblical" version [or any marriage] from the Hollywood version. It takes work, maturity and more work. Now to the gist of what a "biblical" marriage is like. Let's make it clear that the bible, like any literature, must be interpreted. And there may be many different interpretations to contend with. But here's some pretty clear lessons from the bible and the culture it came from::
1. Marriages are arranged. Parents chose your future spouse.
2. You are about 12 years old, if a girl; 14 if a boy.
3. It is mainly an exchange to increase the wealth of your parents.Perhaps they will get sheep, land, gold....How many sheep are you worth?
4. You may not meet your "lover" till the "celebratory" day.
4. a. It should be clear this is not a romantic relationship! Keep reading those fantasy books and watching those films.
5. If your brand new husband is wealthy, you have to contend with numerous wives and concubines for his attention! The more babies the better. So that means, he needs more baby machines. Are you ready?
6. Sex is about baby production. Many church fathers protested God, "why do I have to do that horrid thing with that horrid thing to get a baby?".
7. Yea, women [were] are property. And horrid at that! As in many Muslim countries, even today, men do not associate with this underclass. Same goes for synagogues and some churches. Forget going to the movies holding hands!
8. If you screw up, the man has the right to send you to the streets. Jesus chastised the Pharisees for such abusive attitudes.
9. No Netflix.And no "netflix and chill" either! It's all about work: baby care, cook, clean, grow food, chop wood, sew clothes,.... without recognition of course. No room for any fat Suzies! [Watching too much Family Guy].
10. Paul opposed marriage. He saw it for the weak. Isn't it odd that the church demands marriage. What a surprise the church ignores most of the bible. You are not a woman [or man] if you don't marry.
While you may deny this is biblical, pull out the good ole book and you'll see! Or do what most Muslims, Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Republicans, Conservatives, Liberals, Communists....do: Pick And Chose! Good luck everybody else!
With that, what's your view about marriage?
ReplyDeleteYikes. Reading this made me feel depressed. Its challenging because there's some truth in it, but only half truth. "Biblical marriage" was designed by God, and Adam was pleased, as we read in Genesis 1 and 2. It was also designed to include romance and attraction as we read in Song of Solomom, not Hollywood. While it's not good to deny the less pleasant truths of biblical marriage, what is the point of dwelling on them to the exclusion of all that's beautiful in marriage?
ReplyDeleteAs for "waiting for marriage", we can look to science not just church tradition to help is understand why this is loving, and Jesus instructed his followers to love their neighbour. Men experience a release of oxytocin during an orgasm index that tells them hmmm, this feels good. Women experience being flooded with a different hormone, a bonding hormone, that tells them oh, I love him so much. So casual sex, no matter how progressive and feminist one may want to be, hurts women. Women get their souls ripped in half when they engage in sex outside of a loving, committed relationship- which is what marriage is. Men and women are built physically, hormonally and psychologically different. As a woman I feel sad that the above post is the attitude of a Christian man.